The Numinous Numbers

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Once again, I've had a very intense period at work that has left me completely exhausted and dispirited. Then I have this lucid dream within a dream that gives me the gift of feeling refreshed and reborn.

Find myself walking with my very supportive supervisor in what looks like Torun, the Polish town where I once lived, known as the “Gothic Pearl of Poland.” A fine, misty rain falls, and so I invite my supervisor to the centre where I work as it isn’t far away.

When we enter, the centre looks completely changed: it has a large banquet hall that contains a U-shaped table. All the people I am responsible for celebrate along the length of the table, but across the middle portion, the bottom of the U, no one sits except for me. I rest my head on the white tablecloth as my supervisor goes into the kitchen.

Weariness overwhelms me as I give into the desire to sleep. Falling asleep in the dream feels almost painful. My breath comes hard and deep. Once sleep comes, I become aware that I’ve fallen into a deep sleep within a dream, and this awareness brings lucidity. This time, there comes a feeling of gentleness as if my consciousness is carried in someone’s arms into the soft, luminous blackness where my being remains for some time. A subtle, ecstatic vibration runs through me.

Then, suddenly, at great speed, I am drawn through a threshold and amazed to find my awareness in the middle of what looks like an infinite, interlaced web of repeating number series from 1 to 10, extending out in sunflower-seed spirals around me against a shining black backdrop.

The white numbers feel alive. They pulsate and dance, carried joyfully on the same wind that supports my consciousness.  Some numbers appear to rise up slightly to an unheard rhythm in alternating sequences of odd numbers, even numbers, then 1,2,3,6 etc. Spotting the sequences absorbs me completely.

It feels like the numbers reveal to me a mysterious code behind the universe. Suddenly the numbers begin to turn into dancing black notes. Then the entire scene slips away into blackness that fills with the sound of a woman’s voice as she sings a hauntingly beautiful song of ethereal and earthy tonality to the tune of a lute.

The vibrations of the woman’s voice run through and over me like crystal water and sear my soul with the exquisite awareness that this music supports and gives life to all I have seen in the dream and waking life.  The woman sings, “Lay down your soul when you are tired, and rest your heart in God’s desire.” I yearn to do just that, and suddenly in a flash I am moved back through the blackness and re-enter my dream body, slightly embarrassed because I still feel full of the ecstatic vibrations of the wind or Spirit in the lucid dream, and my dream ego becomes concerned that the people in the hall will notice my ecstasy.

When I wake up in the dream, I feel relieved and grateful that the others have left me to my dream within a dream and not awakened me. In the kitchen, I find my supervisor and the assistant at my work, happily making paper origami Christmas trees out of red and gold wrapping paper. The trees are three to four feet tall with silver and gold bells on the branch tips. My supervisor offers me a warm Christmas drink. Then I awake into waking life.